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Archive for August, 2015

Healing Art Class

VisualJournalingClassSept2015

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My jaw has been clenched tightly for over a week and I know it. Birthdays will do that. When you’ve lost a loved one, these special days–once so joyous–become about mustering just enough grit enough to get through.
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Jay would have turned 39 today. Stop!

JAY. IS. TURNING. 39. TODAY.

I’ll grind my teeth down to the gums if I don’t allow myself to have a good cry. And so, I do.

I am.

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“What are YOU going to do for Jay’s birthday this year?” We bat this question around among family and friends; comparing notes about honoring his birth and dealing with the reality of his death.

So just what is a girl to do on days like these?

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Strange things. For a split second I wonder if anybody’s watching,

but I don’t really care if they are.

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I’ve done this before, in birthdays gone by.

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But, the waves of grief feel much stronger this year and I know why. Losing ‘Grammy’ has added to the grief of losing Jay and I wonder how something so subtractive can add so much weight.

Like the corners of a photograph, Grammy and Jay hemmed us all in. But now we feel like a family frameless.

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And so I grieve. Again.

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And I heal. Again.

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I remember. Again.

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I release. Again.

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And, He Redeems. 
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Again. 

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FOREVER.

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